Having an abortion, whether by choice or due to circumstances beyond your control, is a deeply personal experience. There is no single “correct” way to feel about it. Some women feel relief, others sadness, guilt, doubt, or a mix of emotions. What’s important is to recognize that all these feelings are valid. No matter the type of abortion, seeking safe spaces to talk, heal, and be heard is a legitimate act of self-care.

Is It Normal to Feel Guilty After an Abortion?

Yes, it is completely normal to feel guilty after an abortion, even when the decision was made consciously and confidently. Many women believe that if they choose to have an abortion, they shouldn’t feel sadness or doubt. However, emotions don’t always follow logic. Guilt can arise from cultural or religious beliefs, family pressures, or internalized ideas about how one “should” feel.
To better illustrate this, we anonymously collected the testimony of Laura, a 27-year-old Mexican woman who chose to end her pregnancy to prioritize her emotional well-being and personal goals.

Laura shared with us:
“Even though I was confident in my decision, there were moments of sadness and uncertainty that surprised me. I learned that feeling those emotions didn’t mean I regretted my choice.”

Feeling guilty doesn’t mean you did something wrong. It’s just one emotion within a complex emotional process that deserves care and kindness, not judgment.

How Can I Manage My Emotions After an Abortion?

Managing your emotions after an abortion takes time, validation, and compassion. Here are some practical strategies:

  1. Acknowledge Your Emotions Without Judgment
    Accept what you are feeling without needing to justify it. Sadness, guilt, relief, and uncertainty are all part of the healing process.
  2. Practice Self-Compassion
    Talk to yourself the way you would talk to a beloved friend. You can use phrases like;
    “I am doing the best I can.”
    “My emotions do not define me.”
    “It’s valid to feel what I’m feeling.”
    Laura mentioned;
    “Being compassionate with myself was crucial: understanding that feeling sadness, relief, guilt, or a mix of everything didn’t invalidate my decision.”
  3. Write About Your Feelings
    Therapeutic writing can help you better understand and process your emotions.
  4. Avoid Isolation
    Seek safe spaces where you can talk without fear of judgment — whether with friends, support groups, or professionals.

What Does Science Say About the Mental Health Effects of Abortion?

Several scientific studies have examined this topic:

  • Turnaway Study: 95% of women who had abortions reported five years later that it was the right decision. Women who were denied abortions experienced more short-term anxiety and lower self-esteem (ANSIRH).
  • American Psychological Association (APA) Report: Abortion itself is not linked to mental health problems. Factors like social stigma, lack of support, and prior mental health issues have a bigger impact on emotional reactions.

In short, most women do not develop mental health disorders after an abortion, especially if they have emotional support.

Where Can I Find Emotional Support After an Abortion?

You don’t have to go through this alone. There are safe and respectful spaces where you can talk, cry, ask questions, or simply be heard.

  • Online Professional Counseling: Organizations like safe2choose.org offer free, anonymous, and professional emotional support.
    Laura shared:
    “Finding support at safe2choose allowed me to speak without fear or judgment. It was fundamental for my healing.”
  • Support Networks: Joining online or in-person support groups can also be highly beneficial.
  • Gender-Sensitive Therapy: Consulting therapists who specialize in sexual health, grief, and reproductive decisions can make a huge difference.

What Free Resources Are Available to Help Me Process My Feelings?

  • Podcasts on emotional health
  • Testimonial videos
  • Downloadable guides for therapeutic writing and mindfulness

These resources are not meant to tell you how you should feel but to help you understand and integrate your emotions.

How to Talk About Your Experience with Someone You Trust

  • Choose someone who deeply respects you.
  • Be clear about what you need: just to be listened to, without judgment.
  • You might start the conversation by saying:
    “I want to share something important with you, and I would appreciate it if you could listen without judgment.”

Talking can be liberating. Do it only if you feel safe.

When Should I Seek Professional Help?

Asking for help is not a sign of weakness. It’s simply recognizing that some emotions need more than time to heal.
Consider seeking help if:

  • Your emotions prevent you from living your daily life.
  • You feel persistent and paralyzing guilt.
  • You experience anxiety, insomnia, or social isolation.

You deserve to heal at your own pace.